A Few How To's

Some new posts coming this week for you to look forward to.

All of these are how I have to adapt to do things in the USVI

How to Rollerblade in the VI

I'm Finally gonna get around to figuring out some spots to skate..

How to grow a beard in the VI

and finally

How to drive/ do car maintenance in the VI.

I Live Where You Vacation

We all know the stereotypical tourist; the man dressed in shorts and a button up tee shirt, with pasty white legs and sunburnt arms and neck and the woman in her flowy long dress, big straw hat and oversized beach bag that’s over flowing with wet towels and sand. Oh and don’t let me forget to mention all of the crocs and fanny packs. Not just the ironic fanny packs worn by hipsters either, these are fanny packs that have been owned since the 90s and that mother swears upon to hold all of her most precious belongings (credit card, pass port, etc.) 

Well, this is what i see every single day. I never quite get board of it either. 

What also makes me giggle are the children they drag along. They come in many different styles compared to their parents. We have... 

1. Hipster kids

1. Spoiled rich kids that obviously don’t want to be on vacation that wear only high end fashion even thought they are only 12.
2. Spoiled rich kids that want to buy everything in the store... and their parents let them.
3. The kids who are very excited to be here that wear the fanny packs and crocs, and much prefer the great outdoors than the shopping centers
4. The kids who only care for the beach and all the surfing they can do around here.
5. Kids who are generally happy to be on vacation that wear tennis shoes and comfortable clothes, but still spend their money when they get here. 

... and so on and so forth. There are many other kinds of kids, but this is generally what you will see. (I like number 5 the best... and 3, but only because I work at a high end sunglasses store.)

Any who, I grew up in Michigan so I am NOT used to “these folks” unless I was one of “these folks”. (I think I’m #6 when I’m with my mom on vacation. I mean, might as well spend your money when you travel since you already spent a buttload getting there, right?) 

They talk constantly about “Island Time”. Which, in a former blog post, I set up a chart for those of you who don’t quite grasp the concept of “island time” because you live in a typical city in the states. (Sorry small towns, the conversion chart is a little different for you since time in a small town moves as fast as a snail on lunesta. Therefore, this “island time” is pretty much the same, but add crystal blue beaches and take away the smell of manure.) 

When I’m trying to walk to work on a busy ship day (4+ ships), I’m always stuck behind the “big boned” american couple walking like they have a ball and chain tethered around their cankles and announcing loudly to one another that it’s “island time baby” and they can take the precious time walking from one bar to another. I do that awkward dance behind them to see if there is one moment where I can slip past them, but there is never a moment, unless if I want to squeeze between their warm sticky bodies that haven’t adjusted from the climate change, so I’m not late. I don’t want to be rude, but you gotta do what you gotta do. 

Them...

...Me

I love tourists and all, but sometimes you guys just get in the way.

Then you also see things you don’t... well want to see. For example, I am aware that this is an island and we are literally surrounded by beaches, but that doesn’t mean you can wear your bathing suit everywhere. I know you want to whip out that sexy bathing suit that has been sitting in your closet for 4 months Mrs.Jones, but save that for the beach.

Strutting your stuff on the beach is wonderful, it’s just awkward when you’re walking through town half naked with parts of your body that haven’t seen the sun since the last time you took a vacation.. three years ago. 

Well, I don’t blame them I guess! The body needs a little bit of vitamin D when you work in the office 5 days a week and on top of that, it’s winter! 

Lastly, I know you’re on vacation and the bars here open at 9am, but does that really mean you need to drink? I understand, getting a nice local brew when you get off the boat is fun and makes you truly feel like you’re on vacation, but getting 3 rum punches by the time it’s 12pm is a bit much. When I work over in St.John, I’m right next to this bar, and once people get a few drinks in them, they think it is a wonderful idea to come in, say hi, mess up all the sunglasses, and then leave. It’s kind of funny sometimes, but it can get a bit old. 

There are TONS of bars here, and tons of different rums you can drink and order, but from what I remember, the cruise ships also have a bar on them. Well the only thing I can say is that people on vacation, despite how silly they look in their fanny packs and crocs, they follow one rule:

I know many people hate this saying, I know many people say “I want to punch a baby koala when I hear someone say YOLO” but loosen up, you grinch, take a joke and take off those narcissistic sunglasses. Maybe YOU need to take a vacation. So whip out your Hawaiian print and kaki shorts and strap on your fanny pack, come down to the wonderful island of St.Thomas, where the weather is nice, time moves at its own pace and you can drink anytime of the day. 

Good Day Sir!

How I Saved The World...

Well I woke up yesterday realizing that I had in fact saved the earth from destruction. I did this by sheer will power alone and my Christmas tree. Well, its not actually a Christmas tree; it's actually a palm tree with a bunch of lights on it that I got from K-Mart for like twenty bucks.
                                           

But what it really is: a hipster Christmas tree or a hipstmas tree if you will.

"But Byron what is a hipstmas tree?" you are probably asking yourself right now. Well now you are because I made you read it.

Well to answer your question we have to delve back into archaic tv show history and start with the Seinfeld episode that chronicles the story of festivus. Festivus, according to Seinfeld is a secular holiday for everyone not celebrating myriad other traditions  The hallmark of this holiday is the festivus pole which is simply a pole that is not adorned with anything.


                                             
The other half of the hipstmas tree is that a palm tree is just so much cooler than an actual Christmas tree and besides, I'm doing it before palm trees are "in" as Christmas decorations because I'm such a hipster.


                                                         

So, There is an obvious connection between the invention of the hipstmas tree and the fact that the world did not end.

Hipstmas Tree

Besides Christmas Tree's are soooo last year.

St. John and Other Tropical Paradises We Don't Live On

The other day I got to go to St. John, because Alana had to work over there and I wanted to do some exploring. This is ever so convenient because seventy percent of St. John is National Park and has very well marked trails for exploring.

Russell St. John'S Red Storm Slubbed Tee (Google Affiliate Ad)

St. John is a kind of idyllic place because it has all the charm of a quaint town mixed together with the natural beauty of a tropical Caribbean island. The Difference between St. Thomas and St. John, though they are only four miles apart, is vast. St. Thomas is the relative "big city" to St. John's "Small Town". St. Thomas has a population hovering around fifty thousand, while St. John has only about five thousand inhabitants. On St. John everything is quite and scenic and you can walk from place to place, it seems even as if everyone knows each other on the island.

Russell St. John'S Red Storm Fleece Hoodie (Google Affiliate Ad)

The Trails are beautiful and well maintained. I took the Caneel hill trail which seems to go straight up the mountain, I was out of breath and pouring sweat within the first two seconds of the hike (guess I need to work out a little). The view from the top is a great reward for the effort expended. You're afforded a great look at the BVI's and can see all the way to
St. Croix in the opposite direction.

view from atop Caneel Hill

After hiking back down the trail there was still some time for laying out on the beach and reading a good book before the mosquitoes got to bad. While laying there I was introduced to some island wildlife.

The wonderful island rooster who so kindly chooses to call so loudly at both sunrise and sunset to disturb the otherwise peaceful relaxation of beach goers and those sleeping in alike.

These hermit crabs are every freakin' where on St. John, They literally roll down the path you walk on. Ranging in size from the small ones you see in the pet store to some bigger than my fist they are easily frightened.

I decided to set up my slackline at honeymoon beach. This led to a litany of messages and comments on a facebook picture which I titled honeymoon, this was a mistake as everyone assumed that it meant that Alana and I had gotten married. So as I set my slackline up about ten donkeys appeared from the brush.

Much to the surprise of  myself and the beach goers the donkeys are not afraid of people. In fact since they get fed by many tourists down on honeymoon beach they will actively seek out people to give them food and can be quite aggressive.

Topical Island Romance

First off I know its been about 10 billion years since the last blog post, The way I calculated this figure was by multiplying the number of times my parents inquired about when the next blog post would be by one billion. You all know how good I am at math.

Anyway life on the rock is going quite swimmingly and I mean that in the most literal sense as I take to the water as a snorkel guide about five times a week while fulfilling my duties as first mate aboard the spirit of St. Christopher.

Spirit of St Christopher
Benzara 71573 23 In. Pirate Ship Black Sailboat Wood Model Nautical (Google Affiliate Ad)

The funny thing is, I'd never really snorkeled anywhere near St. Thomas before I my boss tell all of the fifty gay men who where our passengers that I would be giving a private snorkel tour. I thought this was a joke until I was in the water, giving a snorkel tour. Luckily I am a Strong enough swimmer competently look like I know what I am doing. My bullshit skills came quite in handy that day.

Life is great down here I'm having a ton of fun at work and Alana and I are having a great time together in our beautiful apartment when we can.

That being said (yes mother, father, and brother I said "that being said" you can make fun of me now) we are trying to be as frugal as we can, so instead of going out on the town every night we try to have relaxing dinner parties with our selves. We have the perfect venue; our incredible balcony with an even more incredible view. So when we want to live it up all we have to do is make some food to eat our there.

I know, that photo really does look like something out of an ad for tropical island getaways or something. On nights like the one pictured it kind of feels like I live in a postcard; Alana and I get dressed up nice and we get to enjoy this incredible journey.

Well I'm off to go do exciting things like eating and sleeping. Who knows what tomorrow will bring but I'll leave you with this.

"Every man has to follow his heart, no matter how insane he may seem to others"

A few new posts coming!

A few new posts will be published starting today. I know that you are exited. And you should be.

Much love from your favorite virgin islands blogging couple

Thanksgiving, Birthday, Food and Critters Make for a Great Time

Hello friends, it has been awhile!

Byron and I have been busy with life down here! At first we were running on island time (before I had a job and everything was just a vacation for us). If you aren’t sure what “island time” is, I have conducted a chart for you to better understand...

STATES	ISLAND
1/2 hour	1 hour
One Day	One Week
One Week	One Month

                                  

... And so on

But Ever since I got a job, Byron has been running me from my job to his work then back through traffic to come pick me up nearly every day, things have been moving 700 million miles an hour! (speed of light in other words) Therefore, we haven’t had time to write. 

That doesn’t mean that nothing has happened since then and now! Oh no, there has been thanksgiving, my birthday and many many games of monopoly. 

Thanksgiving was a hoot! Let me tell you what, it was my first day of work! It was pretty much the basic training kind of day. We filled out all those awesome W2 tax forms and whatnot and then they showed us around two of the stores. Then, by the time I got home, I was stuffed with information, not turkey. With much debate in a short time frame, Byron and I headed to the store to make food for thanksgiving before it was too late! Instead of turkey, we got chicken wings and smothered them in a delicious lemon pineapple pasta sauce mix! Of course there were rolls and corn and other goodies that you would typically have on thanksgiving. (not mashed potatoes though, I never liked that nasty mush starch that humans consider “edible”) Then delicious apple pie for dessert! My favorite! All while watching the dog show that plays every year on thanksgiving! 

After thanksgiving I had six days before my birthday! Blah blah blah, went to work, blah blah blah, relaxed at the house. It was like running a marathon when you hit the wall one mile in, it was painful those six days! I would finally no longer be a teenager! Finally, the 28th approached and I woke up to quite a surprise! 

Byron got up in the middle of the night to decorate for me! Wow what a way to start off the day! I had an 8 hour shift at the biggest store on a 7 cruise ship day, so I was going to soak up the morning as long as I could! Byron got me monopoly and a deck of cards, along with a birthday pie! (I never liked cake, and I can’t eat ice cream because my stomach is more sensitive than a ginger’s skin in the sun light, so I get pie nearly every year!) We ate it and it was wonderful. I could feel the 20 year old blood pump through my veins as I blew out my candles that read 05, because the candles were facing the opposite direction. I wanted it to look aesthetically pleasing for my audience (Byron), which read the number I have been waiting for for 2 centuries... "20". 

I went to work and then Byron surprised me with an awesome hotel room at one of the resorts so I could take a bath, and we could blast the A/C as much as we wanted! Also, not to mention the room service. UM YUM! We hung out, played monopoly and ate to our stomach’s content (and then some). I felt like such a princess!

Well, now that all the important details are out of the way, here are some random things that go on around the house. 

FOOD: 

As I have mentioned before, food is expensive. Therefore we have made it our goal to only go shopping once a month. This leaves us to become more... creative... by the end of the month. 

Byron and I are very different with the food that put together from our minds. I, for one, think of things that are a bit sweet, yet salty, and something everyone can enjoy. Like cooking up some pineapples and shoving them into every day meals. For example, in my pasta...

On the other hand, Byron will put anything together, that might make you a little nauseous, and make something delicious (to himself). Here we have a picture of his “Meaty-Ramon-French-Toast”. If I had the stomach of steal like he did, I would have tried a bite! First he cut the ramen in half, then soaked it in egg yokes and oat meal grains, then put it on the frying pan and there he smeared this liquid meat we purchased, thinking it was like spam, but it was more like if you were to put spam into a blender then add a pound of salt and then soaked that in water for a week. Once Byron fried that up, he covered that in syrup. Can you say delicious? Well he said it was a lot better than he thought it would be. Trial and error, trial and error. 

Byron cooking up his wonderful concoction...

The tasty can of "meat"...

Sometimes though, Byron and I put our heads together and think of something so amazing! The other day, while making pancakes from our 10 pound pancake mix

I said something that sparked Byron’s interest. “What if we made muffins from the pancake batter?” Later I headed off to work and then came home to a surprise. Byron made a cake like pancake cake. It had pineapples in it (like nearly everything we make does), and some syrup and Splenda. It was pretty good. I put some jam on it and it was better than muffins! 

My next topic of interest is...

CRITTERS:

We find these things all around our house. The main thing are these dang centipedes. They are everywhere and typically aren’t that big. The other day I was showering and up came one out of the drain. I gotta say, it was a bit surprising! My hair was all soapy and I grabbed a towel and then grabbed him and put him outside. I never kill them, I mean they are just poor innocent creatures (expect for spiders who are all little spawns of satan and need die a slow painful death.). 

About a week ago, I wake up and walk into the kitchen and see the biggest centipede I’ve ever seen in the house!

The picture doesn’t do justice to its size! But if you poke at them about 3 times, they crawl up into a little ball and you can pick them up and throw them outside.

Then, about two days ago, Byron and I opened our door to the deck and we see this pretty big frog! I tried to take a picture of it, but the damn thing jumped because my flash startled it.

As you can see we are having a wonderful time in paradise. Byron shall be posing something soon as well so keep your eyes open! Have a wonderful day!

#IslandProblems

Today is a rainy day, boohoo. This means I can’t chill by my pool and read while Byron is off at work. Which leads me to what this blog is about: Island Problems. These are the many “problems” that come along with living in paradise. Guy it isn’t all fun and games here! 

1. Sand... It’s everywhere. On your feet, in the shower, in the car, in your shoes, and god forbid it’s in the bed!

What complaining sounds like: “These clear blue waters and white sandy beaches suck! I have sand ALL over my car now from one trip to the beach that's only 5 minutes away from my house. Life sucks!” #IslandProblems

2.It’s sticky! I wake up, I’m sticky, I take a shower and get out, still sticky and I go to town with my hair down, my hair is sticking to my forehead and arms because... I’m sticky. I mean hold up for a moment, if I were in Michigan right now I’d be so dry that my skin would crack and bleed! But Damn it, where’s the blood? My hands are as soft as a babies butt! 

What complaining sounds like: “Man, even though I just showered off after the beach, I’m still sticky! Now I need to put my hair up.” #IslandProblems

3. Sunscreen all the time! I mean, during the summer in good ol Michigan I wear sunscreen when I go to the beach, but here, I need to wear it even if I’m going to buy groceries! The sun is so much more intense here and for me being blond haired and blue eyed with a patch on my stomach that doesn’t tan at all, I need to Layer that stuff on! I mean I think about the sun here and get sun burnt!

What complaining sounds like: “Dude! It takes so long to put this stupid sun screen on, I just want to leave the house now so we can spend more time in town enjoying this beautiful day! UGH” #IslandProblems

4. “These iguanas are EVERYWHERE!” AT first, every time I spotted one I would announce it, but now it’s old news. Once you start driving too, you need to watch out for these things. They are like squirrels except much more uncoordinated and a lot... slowweerrrr. A squirrel back at home runs across the road and you get frustrated because you almost killed the poor guy, but a fricken iguana lingers slowly across the road you have to stop and wait, and then a huge line of traffic piles up behind you. Also, if you come near the things, beware of their tails, they will whip you.

What complaining sounds like: “Sorry everyone! I’m calling because I’m going to be late for the restaurant! I’m stuck behind a damn iguana. Just order now guys.”

5. Driving up and down the mountains! I’m lucky enough to not drive, but poor Byron learned stick shift on the island. If you’re not going up, you’re going down, and if you happen to be on flat land, you’re stuck in traffic down in town and sweating your butt off in the car. The roads are also narrow and “any stop sign with a white ring around it is optional”. That's what a friend of ours told me. (“Hey, I thought every stop sign had a white ring around it?” You’re right mister.) Imagine doing this also on the opposite side of the street. You’re driving on the left side, in an American car. 

What complaining sounds like: Looks at passenger in car, “Hey do you see anyone coming up the hill, I don’t wanna stop! Do you see anyone? Huh?” Passenger pulls their head forward and yells “it’s not clear! You can’t make it!” Driver is sad he has to wait. #IslandProblems

6. Everything is expensive! Everything is shipped here, so it costs more. I’m lucky enough where I can’t drink milk and soy milk is much cheaper! And gas... oh you guys sure do like to complain in the states about “pain at the pump” but guess what? We have it worse. Put that one in your juice box and suck it.

What complaining sounds like: “Dang it! I’m almost on E, but I bet we can still make it to the beach without filling up. Let’s hope I don’t make a wrong turn or we are screwed!” #IslandProblems

7. “I saw this last week in the store, where is it now?” Guess what sucker, things are always changing here! Get it while you can! They ship what they can, do you see any factories on this Island? Didn’t think so.

What complaining sounds like: “Aww last week I bought these awesome bagels and ate them all, and now they don’t have them in stock! I guess I’ll get these bagels then. This sucks.” #IslandProblems

8. Saying the wrong greeting! I’ve mentioned this once before, but you need to say either “good morning”, “good afternoon”, “good evening” and “good night” to everyone walking into a public setting and make sure that it is the right time of day. Something you’re not used to unless your a hyper child with parents that never told you not to talk to strangers. Here, everyone is a kid with no parental guidance, “I’m not sure who you are, but good morning person walking down the street!” They don’t care if you’re an ax murder with a bloody chair saw, or a drunk homeless man, you better say something back to them or they will give you dirtier looks than a if you were a green pig walking into a bar filled with angry birds! 

What complaining sounds like: “Man I look like such an ass, I just said good morning when it’s 12:01pm and they corrected me and wont stop giving me dirty looks. We should just find another gas station.”  #IslandProblems

9. Don’t drink that water! Tap water here is for washing your hands, and going potty in. You can boil it and make it cooking water or brush your teeth in it, but don’t you dare drink the stuff. Every trip to the store you either have to get a few more gallons of water, or you can go get them refilled. It takes awhile getting used to, I can tell you that, for someone who is against using bottled water. 

What complaining sounds like: “I’m so thirsty right now! I left my stupid water bottle in the car too. I wish I could just drink out of the sink right in front of me.” #IslandProblems

10. I can’t decide which beach to go to. You’d be surprised how many beaches there are here and there is a law that states that no one can privately own beach property. Anyone can go anywhere as long as it’s beach. The problem with this is that you have so many choices! The island is only so big and is surrounded with only the most awesome beaches you’ve ever seen. Where I’m from, we had one beach and it was called South Haven, and you could pick either north or south beach. Dark waters, cold, and if it was a good day, very, very crowded. Here, there are beaches where tourist take over the white sandy beaches with their farmer’s tanned bodies and Hawaiian print bathing suits, all the way to beaches that are secluded and out of the way and even on a really nice day, you might run into about 5 people sharing the beach with you, doing their own thing. With this, also comes making a decision. There’s times where you sit with your friends for 30 minutes trying to make the right choice and wasting your precious sun bathing and swimming time. Yeah, rough, I know!

What complaining sounds like: “I don’t know where to go this afternoon with my friends! I mean, do I want to snorkel more and see some really sweet fish? Or do I want a really awesome spot where I can hang out with my friends in peace? Ahh or do I want to swim in waters that are so clear I can see the bottom the whole time I’m swimming? I don’t know man, this is too hard.” #IslandProblems

So I could go on and on, but I’m going to stop there. As you can see, it’s not all fun and games here. I have endured some hard times and managed to make it out just fine, I’m not sure how though. 

Keep on reading our posts! We have much more where this came from, I swear! 

Michael Jordan is My Neighbor

Once again I'm bringing you an update of why you should be jealous of where I live. It's not because I'm trying to rub it in, it's just that every day you learn something new about the place you live and it amazes you.

Just the other day I was in training to become a zipline guide, sweating from the strenuous labor of hauling other trainees along the line, when one of my co-workers pointed to the little spit of land that juts out past Magens Bay and said "that's Peterborg".

Magens Bay

Peterborg

"Do you know who lives out there?"

Yes, apparently Michael Jordan has a house out on the wealthiest part of the island along with a place for his father and possibly his grandmother too. I guess building on mainland St. Thomas is a little more cost effective than building on your own private island. The only drawback? you have more neighbors.


It's a little crazy to think that on the far north side of the island you have these multi million dollar complexes with vast expanses of marbled and tiled accoutrement and just about three miles away you have extreme poverty. I suppose it's just like anywhere else just on a very small scale.


Now that we got all that depressing sociological stuff out of the way we can talk about the incredibly interesting and storied 'history' of the islands. I put history in quotes because most of what I've heard comes second hand from islanders who told me to take everything with a grain of salt.


To me, being of the nautical mindset that I am, I find the strong piratical presence here to be most fascinating. The tourist destinations on the island are dotted with myriad shops purporting to have genuine pirate ware, from treasure to scrimshaw.

But the really interesting stuff comes in the form of islands names Dead Man's Chest, which I'm informed, was the place of an infamous marooning where a wayward pirate was left with just a flask of water and a cutlass. That's pretty cool.

Whether or not this is true, I'm not sure, but I'll play pirate any day so this island is really the place for me.


Another good example is the beautiful overlook named Drake's Seat, which is perched high on hillside to see the Infamous Drake's passage, both of the namesake Sir Francis Drake.

You get the idea. This place is so cool. Incredible beaches, hundreds of gorgeous sailing yachts, and enough rum to fuel another four Pirates of the Caribbean movies. It doesn't get much better. So if, like me, you're living here or you just plan to stay for a few days; make sure to take in the whole of the island, don't let yourself get stuck in the tourist traps when there is so much more to explore. (but please do spend your money here, its how we get paid!).

We Have Some Catching Up to Do

Wow! It’s been a long time since I’ve done any blog posts! Well, we have a good reason, no internet. Let me show you around the house and tell you what the last few days have been like!

(I’ll make it seem like you’re actually here by going in order of how the place flows!)

You walk in the front door and are greeted by the kitchen!

Oh and theres the washer and drier! 

Now lets journey into our dining room/Living room!

Let’s not forget that every fancy estate comes with a wine rack! 

Next you see a pocket door that leads you into the haven of our apartment

This is where we spend our nights sleeping soundly with the luxury of air conditioning! 

This is Byron’s side of the closet...

...ANDDD this is mine!!

Every dream apartment comes with a spacious bathroom as well...

NOW it’s time to see the view from our balcony, where Byron and I sip our instant coffee in the morning and watch the cruise ships come in...

I give you permission to be jealous. And we have a pool for the few people that live in these apartments. I have yet to relax by it, but I know I’ll spend many days sunbathing (with tons of spf protection) and swimming in it.

Byron has been at training all week, and what have I been doing you ask? “But Alana, you don’t have internet, or a TV, what can you possibly be doing with your time?” I’ve been have “good-ol-fashion” fun! Oh yeah, and a lot of cleaning and moving stuff around and hard work and sweat and trying to find a job.

DAY ONE:

So Byron goes off to training and I have Brandon, a friend of ours, drive me there and help bring in all of our stuff. Once we get everything in, he leaves me to my work! First, I choose the side I want the best, and take it. WAHAHA (they are actually equal, but I like to pretend that I got a leg up on the deal) I put away all my clothes first. Hang up my shirts, put my shorts in a drawer, designate a spot for all articles of clothing! Then I get hungry so I put the food away that we acquired from our friend Sean. 

Let me first tell you that all we had was ramen noodles, and instant oats. Thats what my food sensitive body has been running on. I go into the kitchen and open a pack of noodles! I mean it was something different, sorta. Then I saw a can of corned beef hash (umm nothing better than canned beef!) and I figured that I would use that as sauce. Earlier I went threw all the drawers in the kitchen and saw we were fully stocked with silverware, plates , measuring cups, etc. I assumed there would be a can opener... I ASSUMED, you know what they say about assuming, right?  I boil the water and put the noodles in there and once they seemed near done I get the can out and looked around for the make believe can opener. No where. In a panicked state, I rechecked all the drawers once again, and again. Then started looking in places that didn’t make sense, like the oven, fridge drawers, under the sink. You name it, I looked there. After a good 5 minutes of looking, I came to the realization that there was no can opener. In my hunt, I found at least 3 wine openers though. Not quite back into my right mind, I start stabbing the top of the can with the spirally wine opener. That didn’t do much, so I grabbed a knife, which did nothing more. I took one more try and then gave up. I kept hearing the voices of my parents in my head telling me that I was going to cut a finger off if I kept trying. Tisk tisk. 

This is as far as I got...

So I sprinkled a little bit of random chicken flavored seasoning on it. 

After all that, eating another thing that might as well be random, I got sick. I have been sick for the past 4 days, but I kept moving forward and unpacking! Good thing I had a conveniently located bathroom! 

I then unpacked all of Byron’s things, put them away nicely, and after four hours, I was done! Now just had to wait for Byron to come home and then go to the store! I made a shopping list with all of our must haves that would last us awhile!

He got home late and we made plans to go to Brandon’s going away party, so we didn’t end up going to the store. In my disgruntled sickly state, I felt so hopeless about being home all day the next day without anything besides quick oats and random to eat. (Don’t worry! Things will start looking up for me, the protagonist)

We got to the party, have a lot of fun. We played dominos! Not what you used to do as a child (and when you’re alone as an adult) and line them up to knock them down, but the actual game. Once the games ended, we toasted Brandon, and sipped some of the most rank champaign I’ve ever tasted. I didn’t finish my small glass.

When we went back home, Byron wanted to make something to eat. I told him about the corned beef hash incident, so he thought he’d give it a try. He managed to chisel his way into the can. Let’s be honest though, I loosened it up for him. (Guys always take credit for opening the jar after we’ve been working on it for 20 minutes. Who’s with me ladies... and weak men?!?)

Then he wanted to make some couscous. Once he poured it into the bowl and added water, we both stood at the microwave with the same dumbfounded expression on our face. Why is every microwave different? I’m not sure. We stood there pressing “1” and nothing happened. After a few attempts, Byron figured “rice” would be about the time we needed. We were sitting around talking, forgetting about the microwave and started to smell something, at first we thought it was the boiling water that was making that smell, but then it didn’t stop. We both then realize it was the microwave! Byron rushed over to it, with his cat like reflexes, and opened it. The smell of burnt plastic filled the kitchen and living room. 

Whoops! That was a close one!

Once Byron had a delicious dinner of corned beef hash and almost burning the apartment down, we turned on the air conditioning and cuddled up for our first night in our own place together. 

Let me tell you, after being here for a week and coming from 40 degree weather, air conditioning feels like when you wake up early in the middle of winter and it’s almost as if everything outside of your blanket is the Arctic and you hop into a warm shower! Except our A/C is  the opposite effect. 

DAY TWO:

Not as exciting as day one, I can tell you that. 

Byron leaves for training, I eat quick oats with a mix of special K, which didn’t make me feel that sick! Then I figured, I’m going to clean. I find some bleach and clean with it. I scrub that place down like it was a murder scene! Once I got done with that, I boiled some water, read some cosmo as I waited and drew all over the jug that is our cooking water jug, so we could tell the difference of course. 

I take a shower then think, hmm, today is a lovely day to sit outside! I put my bikini on and enjoyed the sun. I lathered myself in tons of SPF protection with the thought of all the men and women on the Island who could pass a leather couches if the laid down the right way. My goal is to not look 40 years older than I actually am.

I come inside and then write in my diary, yes I have a diary, for four hours. I’ve had it since 2004, my best friend from elementary gave it to me. I like to look back on my old writing sometimes and laugh at my childish problems. “I have a crush on blah blah and I want to see if he’ll let me borrow his football jersey, but I’m too scared to ask him!”. Oh how much I’ve grown. 

Once 5 o’clock rolls around, I wait at the window like a dog waiting for their master to come home.

After about 20 minutes passed, I figured he was just late so I’d go watch the cruise ships leave. 

When Byron comes home, we wait for the landlord to stop by, but it was getting too late and we were scared the stores were going to get scary at night and left a copy of the lease and a note at the door.

We were expecting the scariest of all scary people to be at the store at 7pm. We prepared ourselves! When we showed up, it wasn’t bad at all!  The shopping only took an hour! We followed our list and everything! It was one of those bulk stores and we wanted to make sure we were good for at least a month. We rushed home to make sure none of our frozen items went bad. Here, things spoil easily. Also, things you don’t typically put in the fridge, cereal, bread, etc., you have to put in the fridge. 

We have a designated place for our ramen:

Food glorious food! Sorry Disturbed, not everyone is down with the sickness like you. I could finally eat in peace again! 

Again, we turn the A/C on and sleep in our arctic paradise.

DAY THREE:

This is the day of my interview so I get up early! I ate breakfast with Byron out on our patio and watched the cruise ships sail in. He then leaves and I get all my stuff ready! Not only did I have an interview, but I had a fun lady’s day with some new friends Christy and Lindsey. 

I get all jazzed up for my interview. I put on a nice little black dress and did my hair and make up professionally.

This is my dress, but this was taken after the interview. Doesn’t it scream “YOU’RE HIRED”?

The interview was for HOTLOOK sunglasses. It’s an awesome high end sunglass shop and is local. I have a lot of retail experience so I figured I’d be good for the job! 

The interview went really well! Too bad for Lindsey and Christy, it lasted two hours and they were forced to wait for me the whole time in the 90 degree weather! They continuously made jokes about how I owed them for my long interview, but I knew they were happy that it went well. I tried slipping my swimsuit on in the back of the jeep, but the no shirt law made it really hard and so did the tight dress I was sporting. At this point, I was sweating pretty bad, but I was just going to wait for the beach to change and not the gas station parking lot.

As we were driving, we decided to make a pit stop at a cute bar called Duffy’s. I mean, every girls day out needs a fun drink. After looking at the menu for awhile, we all decided what we wanted. I got the coconut daiquiri in a whale cup, Christy got a pineapple mixture (can’t exactly remember what it was) in a cool pineapple cup and Lindsey... she got one we could all share, all sorts of run in a fish bowl. It was called the shark tank. There were sharks in there with shots inside of them. It was kinda scary. We took a few pictures, and were given lays and then headed to the beach with our drinks, and fish bowl. (you’re allowed to leave the bar with your drink here, and legal drinking age is 18. Though I don’t really care for drinking, I just had a good interview and one girly drink was much deserved.) 

Here's the cute whale cup I purchased, to be honest, I didn't really care what was inside of it, I just wanted the awesome cup! 

We swam, snorkeled and sipped our drinks. There were some awesome fish that would bump into our legs and the water was literally crystal clear! While Lindsey and I were swimming, she announced she thinks she sees a stink ray. I thought it was just a shadow, but I ran back to our towels to grab the snorkeling gear anyway. Sure enough, it was  a stink ray! I’m so mad I didn’t have Byron’s gopro, but it’s something I’ll never forget. We told another older couple that was also snorkeling to come over and check it out. A few minutes later, we let a family from one of the cruise ships borrow our gear to check it out too. 

This is what it looked like:

Successful day at the beach I must say.

Byron called and said he was heading home so we packed up our stuff and headed back. 

That night we didn’t have time to go get wireless, so we played a long game of war. He has won every single game of war we have ever played, but after a 20 minute game, I finally won my first game. I celebrated my victory by eating some cereal and then the long day caught up to us both and we headed to bed.

DAY FOUR:

Day four I wrote all of this ^^^^^. That took... awhile, but I didn’t have internet and I was home alone. 

As I was doing my typical lay in bed and play hours of draw three Vegas style solitaire, I got a call from HOTLOOK, the place I interviewed at the previous day, and got the job! I couldn’t contain my excitement and I danced around the house while I was still on the phone with my future boss. 

Once I got done celebrating, I made a home made checker board for Byron and I to pass the time with!

When Byron got home, we went over to a friends house to use their internet while they use our day (fair trade I’d say) and we skyped with Byron’s parents. It was their first time “video chatting” and so we had to coach them how to get the dang thing to work. After our little skype adventure, we went home and I taught Byron to play checkers; it was a good time.

DAY FIVE:

Productive day! Byron and I got up, ate breakfast, and headed off to town!

Let me tell you about something thats very different when you live here and are going to town. You can't just walk in the door of a public place silently and take a seat, oh no, that's considered very rude. You have to enter the building, know the time of day and make an announcement to everyone in the room. 

"GOOD MORNING!"

And you have to make sure you say the right greeting, if you're still waltzing around town at 12 pm saying "Morning!" to everyone, you kinda come off as an ass. The night time greeting I still have to get used to! You need to say good night as you walk in, such an awkward thing to say. Oh well, it'll grow on me. 

***So I'm not going to bore you with the details of us running errands**

What’s important though? We got wireless! Whoohoo! Easy for Byron to live without, he’s been a hard working man, but as for me, solitaire and making a home made checker board was all I really had. 

As for us right now? Well we are sitting in our living room catching up on emails and Facebook. We just got done with checking out our pool upstairs and boy is it awesome!

I hope you enjoyed this huge post! I have given you much to read and catch up on our lives! 

Much love from Byron and Alana!

***Cute accidental picture, Byron could only take pictures with his eyes closed because of the sun and I thought it was funny***